Sunday, June 19, 2011
I do know that I was heartbroken when my Dad passed away just four short years ago. He was my world growing up. He taught me so much. He was my confidant, defender, leader, and my inspiration. He used to tell me all the time we were made of "Good Stock" :) He always made me laugh. He seemed invincible! I really believed this was true. I believed that he could live until at least 100. He used to tell me all the time that I always did things the hard way with procrastination (so true!)..the smallest tasks I would stretch them to the greatest extremes instead of the simple way out. I guess that is just my way of wanting things just so. I remember the night before he went to the hospital. I spoke with him on the phone. I am so glad I did. We spoke of little things, silly things. He laughed, as did I. He told me he had stomach pains..I told him perhaps it was kidney stones again. I told him he should go to the doctor the next morning. He agreed that he would.
Little did I know this would be the last time I would speak to my dear ole' Papa Bear. He went immediately into surgery for an abdominal aortic aneurysm. He did live a couple of weeks longer on a ventilator, but had to remain in sedation.
Many miles separated us, and I did not see him before he passed.
I have had dreams of him since then, and little signs that I know he has passed on to me. I am confident he knew I loved him, as did he to me.
Life goes on, and the memories are very strong. It still hurts badly, and sort of waiting for the pain to subside a little bit more. Church is hard on Father's day. I go on this day for my husband. He is the best Father to our children, and it means a lot to him that we go on Father's Day. It is terribly hard for me to hold back my tears as a celebration for all Father's is mentioned on this day in Mass.
I celebrate in my heart my heavenly Father above, and thank him always for the blessings he has bestowed upon me with my given earth Father.
I celebrate the years, the love, the memories. I am thankful I had this opportunity in my life to have a Dad that loved me so....
Happy Father's Day to all Dad's living on earth and in heaven!
Blessings to you,